Laundry

AH, another day another dollar....unless you are a mom, then the saying should go: another day another PILE OF LAUNDRY!! Honestly, when does this end?

I'm not sure why I have such trouble keeping up with the laundry. It shouldn't be that difficult, but it is. I usually keep the laundry room door tightly closed for fear someone might catch a glimpse of Mt. Washme (as my husband so lovingly refers to it). A dear friend of mine once made the terrible mistake of being nosy and opening my laundry room door. Before I could tackle him to the floor & shield his eyes from the horror that lay within, he laughed "What happened? Did a laundry bomb explode in here?" Good grief people, didn't your mothers ever teach you to leave closed doors CLOSED!?!?!?!

My mom was a single mother, who worked full time and went to school at night. Such an amazing woman. If ever there was a reason to have a laundry pile, she had one. But do you think we had one stitch of dirty laundry in that house? Heck no. That woman mastered the art of laundry scheduling. Obviously I did not get my "laundry gene" (or lack thereof) from her. What excuse do I have exactly? No, not the "six kids" one, truth be told I could be washing or drying a load right now, but instead I stare at the pile next to me and write about it.....THE SHAME!!

My friends have tried on numerous occasions to school me in the art of laundry procedure. "Don't keep laundry baskets in every bedroom, they will only fill up and then you'll have 6 baskets full before you do more." or "Have your kids put their dirty clothes outside their door every morning." and my personal favorite "Make your kids do their own laundry." All of this insight has been so very helpful, however I still seem to struggle. My husband's advice? Let's get a mama-san to do all the laundry. HEAVENS NO! I can't stand the thought of someone else trying to figure out who wears size 7 flare bottoms & who owns the blue Orange County Chopper shirt. OR perhaps I simple want it done my way .

Shockingly enough I am very picky about the way my laundry is done. Everything must be separated; darks, lights, towels, jeans, whites. And if the pile is too large, then by color; black, red, blue, green, etc. I start the washer first; cold water-permanent press, warm water-jeans and towels, hot water-whites. I then add LIQUID detergent and if I am washing jeans Clorox OXY Clean, or if whites then 1 1/4 cup bleach. I fill the Downey ball then add the clothes. When they are moved to the dryer I then must add a Bounce dryer sheet, two for jeans (no static cling in my house). If I don't get to the dryer right as it buzzes I must run the dryer again. This is a little habit I picked up from my mother. Clothes MUST come out of the dryer warm & wrinkle free. If I happen to notice a stain or rip an any of the clothing it is thrown directly into the garbage. I haven't time for mending and re-washing. From the dryer the clothes are placed directly onto hangers. All the clothes in my house belong on hangers save for jeans, socks, underwear & linens, these items are folded.

Folding. This is another disorder completely. I seem to suffer from some freakish form of perfectionism where if the towels aren't folded half-half-third I hyperventilate (thanks mom)! Please do not mistake this for OCD. No, those who suffer from OCD have stunningly beautiful and clean houses. In my little world if there isn't time to do the job correctly and completely the first time, then it is better left undone altogether. This means things do indeed get left unfinished in my house (like laundry). Yes I know...psycho....but there is no need to fear, I don't bite.


About once a year Mt. Washme threatens to erupt and I must resort to desperate measures. The laundry mat. What a nightmare. If ever you walk into a laundry mat that looks completely empty yet 20 of the 22 washers are occupied, chances are you will find me sitting atop one of the tables, listening to my I-POD or reading a book. Good Times! I can't stand the laundry mat. The clothes never seem to come out of the washer as clean, or out of the dryer as fresh. But when it is done, it is done. At least for a couple of days!

Currently my laundry room door stands wide open. Clean clothes overflow from the six baskets sitting on my deep freeze. Every available hook and doorknob is straining under the weight of hangers. And there is a fresh basket of socks smelling of bleach. I love when my laundry room is clean. But I won't get too excited, the kids will be in to clean their rooms in 45 minutes, which means my seemingly clean laundry room will once again be occupied by Mt. Washme. Oh yes, and there is this one pile currently staring up from my bedroom floor. Heaven help us all!